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aerrowTestimony of Sis.Bala Samson
Testimony of Sis.Bala Samson
Lord, let him not die!
My jaws dropped as I stared and stared and stared…there are no words to describe the emotions that overwhelmed me! There are times that one is rendered speechless and this was one such moment! I saw my son Joshua cradled in the hands of the doctor as she lifted him up to show me. It was incredible! He was pink, cute and lovely! The doctor said, "look, look, he is a boy baby!" Who would have thought that I would see this child alive! Besides the exhilarating joy of looking at my child born healthy and perfect, I was amazed that I had a normal delivery. I had been rolled into the labor ward with multiple complications but God rolled away all my pain, fear and fibroids that were threatening to kill me and my child, like the way He rolled away the large stone from the door of the tomb of Jesus. God performed a miracle in my life!
In the year 1999, while I was five months pregnant with my second child, I was diagnosed with multiple fibroids which were found on the inner and outer walls of the uterus. The fibroids were rapidly growing along with the baby and the doctors gave a final verdict to terminate the pregnancy and abort the baby because the fibroids were choking my baby. I was advised to abort the child and remove the uterus because it was infected with fibroids which meant that I had to be bedridden for the next six months, because it was a major operation. I was devastated!
For a person working as an executive in a multinational bank, the above situation means 'burial' as far as my career was concerned, as an Executive Secretary, I was handling very important portfolios in the department where I worked. Six months leave and away from work was unthinkable, trying to work my way out of this situation was like trying to climb out of the grave. My world came crashing down! After two days of diagnosis, what the doctors feared happened, some of the fibroids ruptured and I was bleeding profusely, I was rushed to the hospital and admitted; I went through unbearable and excruciating pain. I was kept under observation close to the delivery ward so that I could be rushed, if there may be an emergency. The doctors had given me injections to stop the bleeding; but now something else happened, the fibroids which were passive until that time, now started hurting me. I cannot explain the pain in words. Even a small movement of the body would cause me extreme pain. I refused to see guests because even the movement of people inside my room caused me physical pain. I just had to lay still, on my back, facing the ceiling of the wall.
I got to see my baby's movements in the womb through the scanning machine, this meant that my baby was alive and healthy; but still, according to medical report, there were no chances for survival. The fetus was too small to survive! The baby had to be removed! This was the verdict of the doctor! 'Remove!' How easily you are advised to 'remove' that which endangers your life! But how could you remove the baby so dear and precious to you? This broke my heart to million pieces! I cried my heart out! Besides physical pain, the thought of having to lose my baby was agonizing and unbearable. My husband had never seen me so weak, heartbroken and down, we both wept together! We were alone and in utter despair! From deep within our spirit came a cry to God, "help us!"
It is now in this dark period that hope in Jesus came like a lightning flash in my darkness. Dazzle in the dark! Some Christian pastors came into my hospital room to pray for me, though a Christian, I had never until that point of time felt that prayer and faith in Jesus can change my situation. Around this time, a close family friend, aunty Nirmala Sudhaman, an elderly lady, came to see me and encouraged me not to abort my child but trust in Jesus. She visited my hospital room every day and boosted my faith and also gave me spiritual material to read. We decided to go through this valley of death and this tough ordeal, trusting Him to bring me out triumphantly. Praise God! The moment you decide to do the impossible, oppositions do come and did come for me as well. 'Don't be crazy, use wisdom, think of your life, remember you are educated…." were the worldly advices: however, I dared to believe Him. Suddenly an urge to read the Bible came into my heart and I asked my husband to bring my Bible to the hospital room.
I determined my heart to diligently read His Word because I did not have any knowledge of God during that time. I was a dead Christian who had never properly prayed or read the Bible, but God brought me to this wilderness experience in order to open my spiritual eyes. The very first book of the Bible, Genesis, awed me and I marveled at the scripture "Then God said, "Let the earth bring forth grass, the herb that yields seed, and the fruit tree that yields fruit according to its kind, whose seed is in itself, on the earth"; and it was so"(Genesis 1:11) Such startling shafts from Scriptures brought revival into my life! It was like fresh gush of water on a barren land! I understood that I serve a powerful and Almighty God and if He says something that would be so! It was a fantastic revelation for me! My faith in His Word and promises started growing, I firmly believed that He could speak to my uterus and heal my problem. Just one Word from the Master and the fibroids would perish! My hospital room was surrounded by Christian literature, Christian music, and Christian friends. One could sense and feel the aroma of Christ that filled my room. I spent the whole day meditating His Word and thinking of Him. The more I thought of Him, my physical pain did not hurt me much. My hopes were anchored on God! Through His Word, God imparted His strength to me so that I could overcome obstacles and fear. I clearly understood that in Him I have life, as quoted by John "In Him was life.." (John 1:4) Within a week, I was a bubbling Christian! Believe me, this is true! Taste and see that He is good!
As I was drawing nearer and nearer to the Lord, my problems and complications were increasing, the doctor informed me that my placenta had slipped from its original position and it had come down below the uterus which is further dangerous for me and the child. Hence, now I was advised not to move from the bed; thus I became bedridden and made to depend on bed pan. This was terrible and humiliating, however, I refused to give in to fear but I stood steadfast in my faith, to trust Jesus for a miracle.
After two weeks in the hospital, the doctor advised me that I had to be in the hospital until my delivery, which meant the next four months, because of my dangerous health condition. This came as a horrible blow on us! What do we do? It was a shaky moment in our life! I had my job to consider and many other things as well, my husband and I took a giant step of faith and I was brought home in an ambulance and was carried to the second floor of our apartment in a stretcher. If you look only with your natural vision, you will never be able to find God in the dark path that you are going through, and if you choose to avoid the pain, you will never know the supernatural pathways revealed there. However, I chose to trust God! If I would have yielded to the doctor's advice to abort my kid, I would have been exempted from the pain and fear, but I thank God for the encounter that I had with Jesus through His Word in the hospital room. Nothing can separate me from His love!
God had designed and orchestrated everything beautifully in order to reveal Himself to me. The furniture were set aside and the living room of our home was converted into a hospital room, where I was made to lie. The very next day, aunty Nirmala Sudhaman brought a pastor to pray for me, before he prayed for me, he preached a small sermon that revolutionized my life. The pastor spoke about faith as small as a mustard seed which can move a mountain! Mark 11:22-23 "So Jesus answered and said to them, "Have faith in God. For assuredly, I say to you, whoever says to this mountain, 'Be removed and be cast into the sea,' and does not doubt in his heart, but believes that those things he says will be done, he will have whatever he says." I quickly asked for a diary and noted down everything that the pastor was preaching. This was the first time that I was taking Biblical notes! Sometimes we hear God better in the emergency room of the hospital than in church. Praise God! GOD WILL OPEN THE WORD TO YOU IN THE WILDERNESS! The Bible says, "In those days came John the Baptist, preaching in the wilderness of Judaea" (Matthew 3:1).
The pastor also explained to me that "By His stripes I am healed." Isaiah 53: 5 says, "But He was wounded for our transgressions, He was bruised for our iniquities; The chastisement for our peace was upon Him, And by His stripes we are healed." Fresh life was flowing into me as I lay there on the bed, with my diary on my chest making note of every word that the pastor was preaching. The words of Jesus in verse 24 "Therefore I say to you, whatever things you ask when you pray, believe that you receive them, and you will have them", made a tremendous impact on me and I was getting ready to believe God for a miracle. Jesus did not want me to have a gigantic faith, but all He requested me to have is faith as small as a mustard seed. I was determined to possess my miracle!
I am speaking to someone out there right now reading this book! Unless you determine yourself to possess your miracle, you can never taste the power of God. We need to pursue Him like the woman who had a flow of blood for 12 long years. Mark explains her pitiful condition more explicitly than the other Gospel writers. Mark 5: 25-26 says "Now a certain woman had a flow of blood for twelve years, and had suffered many things from many physicians. She had spent all that she had and was no better, but rather grew worse." She had been to many doctors and had spent everything she had in an attempt to be cured, but she was not getting any better, in fact she was getting worse.
I guess she heard about Jesus of how he had cast out demons from people who were possessed. She had heard how he had healed a crippled man and opened the eyes of a blind person. She had heard how he cleansed a leper. Maybe, she thought he could heal her. Now she determined her heart to pursue the Healer! Are you listening to me? Jesus was surrounded by a huge crowd, but she was not going to give up. I can picture her aggressively looking for a way to reach the Healer. She thinks to herself, "Oh, if I could only reach out and touch just the hem of his garment I will be healed." That is faith in action! May be she crawled and finally she grabbed the hem of His garment. Suddenly for the first time in twelve years she found herself freed from her illness. She was healed! Glory to Jesus! The words of Jesus to the woman were, Mark 5:34 "Daughter, your faith has made you well. Go in peace, and be healed of your affliction." Her faith has made her well! Praise God!
Like this woman I pursued Jesus! After the pastor left, there was a dramatic change in my attitude. The words in the Bible, "believe that you receive them, and you will have them", kept ringing in my ears! A nurse was arranged to come home everyday and give me an injection to treat the fibroids in my uterus. The next day when the nurse walked in, I told her that I don't need the injection. Everybody at home were shocked, I explained to my husband that I have prayed for my healing and I believe that I am healed. There was pin-drop silence that followed my statement! I repeated, "I believe that I am healed"! My husband cleared his throat and said, "we respect your faith and appreciate your sincere belief in God but it is wise to simultaneously heed to the doctor's advice." I was stubborn and firm in my faith, I said,' when I believe that I am healed and the Bible says that by His stripes that I am healed, then why should I walk contrary to my faith?' Reluctantly the nurse was asked to go.
I took another giant step of faith the next day, when my husband had gone out, my daughter had gone to school and I was left alone at home, I wondered, 'when I firmly believe that I am healed why should I not walk up to the wash room rather than depend on the bedpan and be confined to the bed?' I boldly put my legs down, praised God for His healing and walked up to the toilet all by myself. Glory to Jesus! God had said, "Fear not, for I am with you; Be not dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, Yes, I will help you, I will uphold you with My righteous right hand." (Isaiah 41:10) Yes, He did hold me and never let me down after that! It was a championship moment for me as I stepped out in faith! My entire family rejoiced with me and my husband began to slowly understand my faith. Well, it was not all over, I had many more hurdles to cross!
During my next doctor check-up, the doctor was shocked to see me walk into her room, there was another huge surprise waiting for me. When the doctor checked me, she was amazed to see the placenta back into normal position. I explained to her my faith in Jesus! Not impressed by my faith, she dismissed my excitement by stating, "such healing does take place in the medical field." However, she cautioned me that the fibroids were still intact in my uterus and that my condition was still dangerous.
However, when people at my work-spot thought that I would never recover, I boldly reported for work. Though physically weak, I joined work with faith in God. May be you wonder, 'why was I not healed completely?' Well, I would never have written this book if I had received instant healing. I would never have experienced His mighty power and magnificence! God uses our suffering to refine, cleanse and purify us. God uses your wilderness experience to go after hidden or unacknowledged sins. In His mercy, He takes you there not to harm you, but to deliver you. As I sat in my room reading the Bible, there were times I bitterly wept at His feet for all the sins in my life. Each book of the Bible convicted my past sins and revealed my corrupt life. The mount sermon of Jesus found in chapter five of the book of Mathew, shook my life. Every word of Jesus was like bomb shell! If it does not hit you that way, then it means you have not understood the scriptures. I understood the standard of holiness that Jesus expects from His children from those Scriptures. Mathew 5: 28-29 "But I say to you that whoever looks at a woman to lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart. If your right eye causes you to sin, pluck it out and cast it from you; for it is more profitable for you that one of your members perish, than for your whole body to be cast into hell." These words instilled a holy fear in my life! I was seen reading the Bible and praying until the wee hours of the morning.
Friend, it was like this, I was not going to let Him go at any cost. I had suffered enough without Him in my life, now that I have come to know Him, I would do whatever it takes to keep Him with me. I write this portion with tears in my eyes! I had a tremendous capacity to save bitter memories, right from childhood, but as I read His Word, I released my anger, forgiveness washed over me as I forgave people who had wronged and hurt me. What a sense of relief as God's love took over that spot in my heart, comforting me from the numbness of years spent looking back at my pain. I understood the true meaning behind the invitation of Jesus when He says, Mathew 11:28 "Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest." I received rest at His feet!
Well, I clearly understood that reconciliation with God means reconciliation with people as well. Which means, I've got to reach out to people, swallow my pride and straighten out things in order to have an intimate relationship with Jesus. I called my mom on the telephone and tearfully asked her to pardon me for the times that I had hurt her right from my childhood. I said the same thing to many members of my family. Jesus was breaking my heart and molding me into a different person. With each passing day, God was taking me deeper and deeper into His Word and cleansing me thoroughly with His blood.
On the other side, though I firmly believed that I was healed, yet the fibroids were growing and the situation was threatening. Each time people would ask me about my health condition, I would boldly answer them that Jesus is working on me. Around November, 1999, I started developing rashes all over my body. More than the previous pain that I suffered, the itching that I now faced because of the rashes were terrible. I sat like Job with a potsherd in my hand to scratch myself. I would dread to face the night time when the pain and itching would be in its peak. I had unknowingly damaged myself badly with whatever comes into my hand that there were scratch marks all over my body. During the last stages of pregnancy, I was not able to wear thick clothes, because of the itching, hence I had to just cover my body with thin, soft, cotton cloth so that I don't feel the pain. A pink color lotion, saflon was applied all over my body which would keep me cool just for ten minutes and the itching would start again. Around January 2000, I was attacked my insomnia, suffering from lack of sleep. Through it all I trusted Jesus and I walked by faith and not by sight.
There is always a culmination and a peak to every problem! February, 2000, my condition became very serious, the doctor clearly warned us that I had to be admitted in the hospital immediately because they expected the fibroids to rupture at any time which would endanger my life. I vividly remember that day even now, as my husband, my mom and I stood outside the hospital discussing the problem. I told them that I still believe that I am healed and would never get admitted for treatment. Friend, never take me as being stubborn or stupidly headstrong in my decision, the close relationship that I had developed with Jesus during the time of my sufferings had built my faith which cannot be expressed in words. I love Him and I trusted Him whole-heartedly! Unable to convince me, they took me back home. I am speaking to someone out there right now, who is going through pain and prolonged illness, don't give up please….God would do great things in your life too!
On March 1, 2000, I developed labor pain and I knew it instantly because of my first delivery experience. I was rushed to the hospital at 10 pm and when the doctors and nurses knew that I was coming, extra precautions were being taken because they all knew of my case history. Two bottles of blood was arranged to meet any situation of emergency. According to the doctors, I was a 'complicated case', however, I went inside the labor room with the name of Jesus on my lips. I kept looking at the wall clock that hung just in front of me and that is the reason, I am able to give my testimony today precisely with exact timings. I kept telling the Lord, "Jesus, thank you for being with me." The entire drama came to a grand finale around midnight on the same day, March 1, when I had a normal delivery, without any knife or forceps touch the baby or me! Glory to Jesus!
When I was taken back to my room, I saw my little 'miracle from Jesus' nestled like a pink rose in the midst of the bouquets that decorated my room. My room was like the garden of Eden! Isaiah 51:3 "For the LORD will comfort Zion, He will comfort all her waste places; He will make her wilderness like Eden, And her desert like the garden of the LORD; Joy and gladness will be found in it, Thanksgiving and the voice of melody. "
Remember wine takes time to become all it can be, there is a moment when it reaches that fine state of perfection! GLORY TO JESUS!
Joshua started playing the keyboard for prayer meetings at the age of 8, along with his sister Shalina now conducts the Sunday School at Shiloh Revival Church, Hyderabad, and surrendered to immersion water baptism along with his sister Shalina, at the age of 12.
Oswald Chambers writes, "All God's revelations are sealed until they are opened to us by obedience. The tiniest fragment of obedience, and heaven opens and the profoundest truths of God are yours right away. God will never reveal more about himself until you have obeyed what you know already."
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